America's Next Top Model features hot tranny mess

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Ladies and gentleman, the inevitable has happened — Tyra Banks has lost her freaking mind.

No, I’m not talking about the horrendous crimped hairstyle she recently wore to celebrate Vogue Italia’s first all-black model issue.

I’m not even referencing the recent reports that she kept an audience for her talk show waiting for two hours while she gabbed with stagehands around the snack table backstage.

I’m talking about Isis, Banks’ newest headline-snagging protégé.

Fourteen contestants are taking part in Cycle 11 of “America’s Next Top Model,” but only one of those 14 has the distinction of being born a man.

The 22-year-old aspiring model and Maryland native told Us Weekly that she is a woman who was born a male.

Now, I understand everyone is different — and transgendered persons have just as much right to be America’s next top model as anyone else.

But I personally find it a little hard to believe that Isis is more qualified to strut her stuff down the runway than the thousands of actual women she beat out for the part — including a bevy of Baton Rouge beauties when auditions were held in our fair city.

Which leads me to my next question — Is Isis pre-op or post-op?

She is tall, thin and leggy with boyish good looks that could lead to either conclusion.

Perhaps this is the final push in the campaign started by Twiggy in the 1960s and revived by Kate Moss in the 1990s of having runway models with the figures of 13-year-old boys.

Instead of having high-strung cocaine addicts who puke after meals as role models, young girls can idolize the bodies of modern- day eunuchs.

Perhaps Isis’ inherent testosterone will make her less of a cat-fighting attention whore than the other divas in training.

If Banks, the CW and co. want something to talk about, why not just allow men to participate in the show? Then Isis could stand and deliver without the surgery.

Do men want to be snipped at by noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker and runway diva extraordinaire Miss J. Alexander so badly that they’ll go to excruciating lengths to reach their goal? Are they aching for face time with Paulina Porizkova so hard that they’re willing to castrate themselves?

I wonder how Isis’ past will influence her performance on the show.

The ANTM judges have always expressed their love of androgyny in contestants like Cycle 5’s Kim. But what about Kim’s fellow castmate Coryn, who was frequently chastised for being too masculine?

I wonder if such comments directed at Isis would be considered offensive.

If this was a true attempt to be open-minded and progressive, I would applaud the ANTM team. But I call a spade a spade, and shameless plays for ratings make me reach for my Daily Reveille-issued shovel.

Plus-sized models are old news. We’ve seen scores of confrontational contestants. We’ve had race issues out the wazoo. There was even a lesbian hook up in Cycle 5. Now we’ve reached the final frontier of edgy reality TV.

Can a woman — born a man, but now a woman — make it as a top model?

This must herald the final chapter of “America’s Next Top Model.” How do they top this? Lizard people?

ANTM has a rich and diverse history of capitalizing on the differences of one girl each season.

Cycle 3 winner Eva was short – for a model.

Cycle 5 contestant Kim was a lesbian and Cycle 10 winner Whitney was plus sized.

They even had Heather — a contestant with Asperger’s Syndrome — on Cycle 9.

Banks recaps the chosen sob story at the front of every episode in an effort to strengthen the contestant’s emotional chokehold on the audience.

And honestly, if Isis is cool with being exploited who am I to contradict her? I’m sure this is the big throbbing break she’s been waiting for all her young life.

Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation president Neil Giuliano told Us Weekly this is “an unprecedented opportunity for a community that is underrepresented on television.”

I have to respectfully disagree with Mr. Giuliano.

Is he completely disregarding the character of Mrs. Garrison on South Park?

Besides, no one encompasses the phrase “hot tranny mess” better than Tyra Banks — and I see her on TV every day.

2 comments:

Gone said...

It makes perfect sense that a tranny would be a "top model." The fashion industry is run by gay men. The fashion beauty ideal (6 feet tall, no hips, no ass, no breasts) describes a teen age boy, not a woman.

Chris said...

why are we so concerned with trans peoples genitalia. we dont go around asking non-trans people what their genitalia look like. in fact i think most people would be pretty offended if a stranger asked them what their sexual anatomy looked like.

it doesnt matter what her anatomy is, she is the woman she is.